There seems to be a time
of day or night
when the noises fade
and you're left with just
silence.
Platitudes and wishes
rooted in traditions of
yesterday
or millennia past
long since
devoid of deity
usefulness
flavour
thrown in on occasion
to warm
but instead anger.
Grinding pressures
conflicted dreams
unrelenting demands
every angle
shadow
corner
glimmers fade
shimmers stop
skies darken
glances around
seeking some hope
of happiness
of fulfillment
One last bright spot
innocent
vibrant
loving
effervescent
Now distant and unseen
silent
without a word
just a symbol
alive
not speaking
agony for what
must be felt
thought
forever changed
inside her
being
Whatever could be
lived for
found meaning or
fulfillment in
now seems
lost.
The smile in the minds
of friends
of family
weighed for worth
against the price
paid for persistent
pain
too high
a cost.
This
right here
right now
is the point.
Deep breath
inhale
slowly let it
leak out.
Inner words
form the framework
of what
will keep me
alive.
Today
I drink
I choose
to stay.
Today
this pain
this silent birthday
will not define
me.
There will be more.
There will be love.
There will be joy.
There will be happiness.
There will be laughter.
This mantra I must repeat.
For I choose
to live
to define success
as another day
here
to be who I am
determined to be
The loving father
doting dad
fan
supporter
confidante
guide
I cannot be
all of these
today
But one day
I will
So today
I choose
to live.
