Monday, August 12, 2019

My former friend

You have long been
a friend
a mentor
a comfort

Countless nights breathing
hot breath on my face
warming what remains
of my heart

You have long 
soothed
guided
enraged
bridged

This chasm between
man and monster
daddy and demon
what the fuck and 
the ledge

I have invited 
you often
have fought 
you often
fallen by your blow

I break open
once more
smashed
disemboweled 
on the floor

Temple on the tile
chest lurching
begging
demanding this
to end

I invite you now
bring it
more
all of it
now send

The weight of my dashed
dreams 
crushing me
gutting me
spineless

I wait
reeling
cringing
expecting
the madness

I open the cage
door swings
limp to 
impending
destruction

But asleep I fall
strange
no torrent
no rage
no explosion

Dear Darkness 
my old friend
empty
toothless
doom

You failed me
didn't come
only teased
only toyed 
with my gloom

So now 
you bore me 
So now 
I will use you
play you
watch you
evaporate

I have some time
left to linger
to laugh 
to love
to venerate

Someone else
something else
somewhere else
some other god
to revere

She knows not
our demon dance
my chambers
your presence
your cage

She will never hear
never feel
never know
never witness
your rage

She only sees
only feels
only knows
only loves
that I"m still
here