Somewhere is here, sometime is now...

When she thinks and asks
questions I cannot
answer

when she ponders,
desires something
I cannot
provide

heart sinks
mind falters
leaves me
empty

values clash
identities mix
priorities fight
war bursts
inside


suffering is futile
moves me nowhere
leaves me
perturbed

goals examined
future questioned
plans challenged
comfort disturbed

time to move
to adapt
to recognize
to prioritize
responsibility

values of love
relationship
fatherhood
stability

trump dreams
visions
fantasies
false identity

focus on future
shifts
eyes see
what she sees

what I want
who I want
to be

what she needs
who I am
presently

new path 
to walk
new choices
to make
new dreams
to hold
new chances
to take

I am
her father
I am
her guide
I am
her strength
I am
whole
inside

loved ones see
tears fall
freely

hearts express
pain and love
sincerely

heart reacts
mind scrambles
old patterns
spring into
place

I will not fail
I will succeed
make my
dreams
come alive

in her face

Heart waits

Why is it
her eyes see me
greater
purer
more honest
than I 
really am 

This view
not mine
central
to all
I was
all
I am
all
I will be

Why the content
to be
flawed
wasteful
wanton
wicked
when all
I want
is for her
to be 
the opposite

Where does the heart go
where is integrity lost
where is it found
when
how

Time blurs
thickens
slows
deadens
covers

Knowledge illuminates
quickens
awakens
stirs
reveals

Mind races
searches
wrestles
settles
soars

Heart
waits

Bob Bennett 
sang it
best:

I am a man
in a world
full of men
just like me

With a heart
full of questions
and answers

That seem
to be
somewhat connected

And a mind 
full of
preconceived notions

That manage
to get
in the way

And I 
find myself
longing
to return

Back to 
the place
where I 
started

Back when
I knew
next to
nothing

Back to
the heart

Back to 
the heart

Of the matter

To the heart 
of 
the matter.


 





 
 

The Next 40 Years

Long look at the image
tall, not yet stooped
dark, not yet grey
lined, yet no wrinkles

Smile is softer
eyes never brighter
hands now gentler
from fewer scuffles

This man I see
comfortable
strong
secure

The boy in me
grown up
wise
mature

Pushes forward
digs deeper
looks beyond
reaches further
still

Exercising mind
body
spirit
emotion
will

Halfway gone
halfway grown
halfway spent
halfway filled

Much to learn
much to see
much to hear
much to build

Battles fought
lessons learned
demons abandoned
suffering done

What to chase
when to turn
where to go
how far to run

Love that I seek
that I give
that I cherish
that I hold

To myself
my family
my friends
truth be told

Will guide my steps
my choices
my thoughts
my future
my present state

I will not deny
abandon
withdraw
diminish
hesitate

All that I am
that I have
that I know
that I can be

Unleashed
with vigor
directed
with wisdom
filled
with love

The next 40 years
wait and see...